Why You May Address Me As Dr. Reader, Should You So Choose

(and if  you are a minister of a non-Fundamentalist, established denomination, Protestant or Catholic, then Mr. Reader is just dandy.)

if you should, by accident or mischance, end up watching almost any of the Christian networks, you’re going to see a lot of Doctors.
and quite a few of them will have received their honorary Doctor of Divinity degrees from Bob Jones University.
to acquaint yourself with BJU:
tl;dr – men speak for god in the home, women shut up, do not work outside the home, and make babies, biblical fairy tales trump science, children are to be severely disciplined, sexual assault is the woman’s fault, the bible is the literal word of god, the IFB minister’s interpretation is to be accepted as the word of god, even when it doesn’t agree with another IFB minister. these people are the bottom of the barrel of Fundamentalism, but a growing denomination. i tell ya, these IFB fuckers… they’re alignment is Medieval Scary.
BJU, the spiritual home of the Independent Fundamental Baptist denomination, is, like the IFB, a fucking snakepit of crap theology and medieval thinking.
and they love handing out, and selling, doctorates for which no course work is required.

my honorary Doctorate of Divinity from Universal Life Church has course work behind it. i’ve taken theology courses, studied several faiths, practiced several faiths, examined many others, and therefore have a better grip on theology than an IFB asshole, or other Fundie fuckheads. and do not even get me started on the heresy of prosperity gospel. i have every right to consider myself the superior theologian to any Fundie minister on the planet – they wear the blinders of Biblical Inerrancy, and i recognize that doctrine as a load of crap.
so, i’ll gladly wear not only the title of ULC Minister, but the title of Doctor of Divinity… unless i’m around a real, non-Fundie, legitimately trained person of the cloth, in which case i’ll defer to them.
of course, i still don’t believe they automatically have a better grip on the truth of the Christian faith than i do, for i am proudly a Protestant, allowed to read the Bible and interpret it for myself.
kinda like an IFB pastor, except i don’t have, nor do i want, a church full of willing sheeple under my command; i recognize the validity of science; i realize the Bible most certainly isn’t the inspired word of God, to be taken literally in all circumstances, as men have fucked with it multiple times over its history; i view women as equals; i am most definitely LGBT-allied, and quite a few other happy differences.

so i proudly stand with my ULC brethren in proclaiming “we are all children of the same universe”. i’ll be hanging my degree once i pick up a frame.


mood: defiantly anti-Fundamentalist
listening to: dogs snoring


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