Last Goodbyes

funny thing about life, you never know when it’s going to end.

got word today an old friend has passed. he was, more times than i can count, a rock of sanity and near-normality in the chaos that was our group of friends in Dallas, back in the ’80’s. where we were pushing the boundaries of chemical alteration, him… not so much. he drank, even got drunk a time or two perhaps, but not like we did. our debaucheries were Epic. his were casual. he was a good man, patient and caring.

in later years, Jason married another friend from the same group, Kat, an ex-girlfriend of mine, and they have a son, Davy.

i always enjoyed talking with Jason, although i never spent as much time doing it as i’d have liked. and now i can’t.

every goodbye could be your last. think about that. don’t fixate on it, as i’ve been prone to do at various times in my life, but remember it.

i know when we’re younger we’re immortal and invincible and nobody is ever going to die – until they do – but then it’s “them” not “me” and we remain immortal/invincible and go on spending our days on whatever. as we get older,  it gets a lot more real, and it sinks in, that whole ‘last goodbye’ thing, but you can’t live with that in your head all the time, so we  resolve to say all the things we want to say, and visit with the people we need to, and that’s all fine and good, but life gets in the way, and like i said, you can’t keep going with that living in your head 24/7, so we forget and then someone else goes beyond and it’s the same thing all over again, and we swear we’re going to do better this time…

but we can’t live with that in our heads all the time. so we forget. it’s natural, shit, it’s even healthy.

and it hurts like hell when we are reminded yet again.

so let’s do away with the grand pronouncements and pledges to do better. at some point, in the next week, reach out just once. just once. make it a promise to yourself. tell that someone you’ve lost contact with you still think of them, you still love them. get together with someone you haven’t seen in a while. don’t be morose about it, this shouldn’t be an occasion for sadness – rejoice in company shared, celebrate words finally said, revel in time shared.

and when you’re tempted to think back on the people you’ve lost, and not spent enough time with, let the time you spend with the people you still have be in honor of those who’ve already passed. no big thing, no angst, just smile, and know that if there is a beyond, those you’ve lost are happy you’re not letting this opportunity slip past.

 

listening to: “Poor Man” – Old Crow Medicine Show

mood: sad

2 thoughts on “Last Goodbyes

  1. “Time is all you have and you may find one day that you have less than you think.” Randy Pausch, “the last Lecture”.

  2. Truth! Don’t wait until tomorrow, it may be too late. Love ya, big bro!

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