Dreams… Damn Odd Dreams

So I dreamed I was going in for heart surgery of some kind, and that was damned disturbing, but not ‘nightmare’ level nasty, and my wife and friends and family were trying to convince me that the surgeon was an alcoholic, trying to get me to cancel the surgery, trying to get me to demand another surgeon, crying and screaming at my intransigence. That didn’t make ‘nightmare’ either. Then I met the surgeon, and they were all right – he was a drunk I wouldn’t have trusted to operate on my worst enemy – that was nightmarish. But then I accepted that. He was a drunk, I’d be goddamned lucky to live through the procedure, when I went under I was likely never to wake up again… and that was back down to damned disturbing again – not ‘okay’ by any stretch of the imagination, but que sera, sera, an alcoholic surgeon was likely to puke into my open chest cavity…
I woke to go to the bathroom as I was dreaming they were sedating me.
It was a ‘lovely’ night…

Listening to: my wife’s morning routine
Mood: sleepy and about to go do something about that

3 thoughts on “Dreams… Damn Odd Dreams

  1. Was this more of the disgust of someone throwing up into your body or that you were okay if you checked out because of the surgeon’s negligence? If it is the latter, I don’t think that’s a problem. It’s actually more of a good thing to eliminate that fear of death, it’ll happen whether you’re scared of it or not so you may as well stop wasting your energy worrying about it. Of course, it may well have been about your friends always being right (smiles).

  2. I’m not sure, but the likelihood of me getting over my fear of anything, let alone Death, is minuscule. Fear has been one of the top three, if not the top, primary focuses of my existence for 51 years now… I don’t see that changing any time soon. Through therapy, both professional and amateur, through all the self-arguments and positive affirmations, through all the prayers and pleadings to a theoretical Higher Power, fear has never abated much… I don’t seem to do ‘acceptance’ real well.

  3. and, making me feel all warm & fuzzy, my wife has assured me that in the event of any crazy shit even remotely approaching the above dream, she will have no compunctions about having me declared mentally incompetent and placed under guardianship.
    that’s love, folks – when they’ll put you in the padded cell, if need be, to keep you from being stupid. 😀

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